Down the Rabbit-Hole of Struggle

Whether you’re struggling with a chronic illness/disorder or your mental health has seen better days, it can be hard to go through your day to day life without getting discouraged. With social media highlighting everyone’s greatest moments and accomplishments, you may find yourself unsatisfied with your own life. Whenever you find yourself going down that rabbit-hole, come back to this page and reread these bits of advice.

Comparison is the thief of happiness- when you start comparing your entire life (that you know absolutely everything about) with the tiny edited portion of a stranger’s life, there’s no way you won’t be envious and disappointed in yourself. You are being extremely unfair to yourself if you’re constantly comparing your life to an Instagram feed.

Body image issues stem from the insecurities society has falsely marketed to us- every year it seems our beauty standards get younger, prettier, & more unattainable, which is completely intentional. The more insecure you feel, the more money you spend on diets, cosmetic procedures, clothing, etc. The media knows exactly what they’re doing by marketing impossible beauty standards to women, the more insecure you are, the more money you will spend chasing the ascending label of “beauty”.

So many people think that if they can’t see your disability or trauma, that means it doesn’t exist. Just because others can’t see it, doesn’t mean you can’t feel it- so many people unfairly assume that if you appear to be fine, that means you are fine. Just because they can’t see your struggle doesn’t mean you can’t feel it. Sometimes the brightest smiles are masking the darkest days. It may be physical or may be psychological, either way it is very real and your feelings are valid.

If you’re treading in 30 feet deep of water and I’m treading in 60 feet, it doesn’t matter who’s is deeper, we’ll both end up exhausted and drown - so many people compare their struggles and often times feel guilty for thinking they have it bad when someone they know has it “way worse” , but the truth is that it doesn’t matter who has it worse if you’re both struggling. Someone else’s pain and suffering does not invalidate your own no matter how different or significant.

Social media bombards us with people’s best moments and tricks us into believing that those are their only moments.- Think about what you post on your insta feed… I bet you can’t find one picture of yourself looking beat, crying, sick, etc. you may even feel like you have more bad days than good, but you sure aren’t posting as such, so why would anyone else be different?? No one is posting their worst moments for the world to judge and most people know how to hide behind a smile.

Realizing you can’t live up to other people’s standards and expectations because you are different and that’s okay- we all are. Everyone has a standard of living that they compare themselves to. One person may think they aren’t doing enough in life, while another person may think that person is doing way too much. We all live differently, so our goals and accomplishments will always be different. Celebrate the little things that may seem underwhelming to others but big to you.

Take your future & emotions/thoughts day by day but take your recovery/healing time month to month or even year to year. It’s toxic to look too far ahead creating unnecessary worries & doubts just as much as it is toxic for you not to look back far enough to remember all the struggles you have already gotten through. Always look forward with optimism, but don’t forget to look back with pride.

Therapy and Medication isn’t a cure all but it helps as much as it possibly can- everyone in the year 2021 should be going to therapy if they are able to. So many of us give advice to others but once it comes to our own life we can’t ( or don’t want to) get out of the downward spiral because of the way we were raised or conditioned. You can’t count on anything or anyone being your saving grace except yourself. So instead of watching yourself drown, throw on the life vest and stop trying to tread rough waters on your own.